Monday, November 29, 2010

I Cried at Work Today

That's right, I cried at work today. Luckily I was the only one in the office. Let me explain...

My oldest child is 13. An official teenager! I am experiencing what I am certain all parents, especially mothers, experience. My child hates me! Okay, I know he doesn't really, but I feel like it sometimes. More recently he has hurt my feelings. I know it wasn't intentional, and I hope I didn't let it show that he'd crushed me. He was just being honest. 

I suddenly realized that he hadn't been to, or asked to go to, a football game. I asked him why he didn't want to go to football games at school. "I do" he said.
"Well you've never asked me to go."
"That's because I know you will go and I don't want to be there if you're there."

That was pretty much the end of the conversation.

Later that day...

The Razorbacks were playing and the game was on. My hubby was at deer camp and I was making dinner, wrangling babies, etc. My son gets up, comes in the kitchen and informs me he's going to my sister's house to watch the game. (I should mention that she lives behind me. Yes, MY sister, on MY husband's family compound. That's because she's married to his brother.) What could I say? So he left. And my feelings were hurt again. He dislikes me so much that he doesn't even want to WATCH a football game in my house. I wasn't even in the same room as him!

So back to today. I was sitting at work and had Pandora going. (If you haven't discovered Pandora you should really enlighten yourself) Brad Paisley's song If I Could Write A Letter To Me came on. The waterworks did too.

I love my children SO much. They are my world and my only goal is to raise happy, healthy children. Not happy because they get everything they want, but happy because they've earned it. I want to raise responsible adults that make a positive contribution to society. I want them to get and education, have a career, follow their dreams, be passionate about something. I want SO many things for them! I know that I only get a short time to "mold" them. Unfortunately, that means they're not always going to like me! I know this, but it still hurts my feelings sometimes. If they only knew what I know. If they only knew that EVERYTHING I do is for THEM and because I love them so much!

As I listened to the song it made me think of my oldest. The one that cringes when I hug him, hides in his room all of the time, and gets an attitude with me daily. It made me cry because I know where he's coming from. I remember being his age and thinking my parents were morons. I remember thinking all they did was ride my butt and get me in trouble. But I know what I know now, as a parent. I know that it was just because they loved me. I know that I wouldn't be the wonderful person I am today if it weren't for the way they molded me. If he only knew.

On a lighter note...



Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I made a turkey!

I know it's not Thanksgiving yet, but today I made a turkey! You may think it's no big deal, but I grew up in a house where we usually had ham and if we did have turkey it was bought ready to eat! I wanted to see if I could do it, but I didn't want to ruin Thanksgiving dinner if it turned out I couldn't. So today I made a little pre-Thanksgiving dinner and invited a couple of sisters/neighbors over. I only fed 12 people, but I know now that I can do it! And if I must say so myself, it was delicious!

I've been cooking ALL day, and still have lots to do tomorrow. We will start off with lunch with my husband's family and then finish the day with dinner at my parents and a game! One of the things I look forward to the most is the traditional Thanksgiving Day game at my parents house!

So, since it's Thanksgiving I thought I would share a few things that I'm thankful for....

I am thankful for my husband. Besides my children he is the best person that has ever happened to me. He really is my other half. He completes me. He is my very best friend and I miss him EVERY day when I'm away from him. I could not ask for a better father for my children.

I am thankful for my children. They are an adventure and a test everyday. Life is never boring, or quiet, with the four of them in my life. They keep me on my toes. They ARE my reason.

I am thankful for my parents. My daddy sacrificed so much for his children and always put us first. My mommy is my voice of reason and understanding.

I am thankful for my siblings. They are all SO different and all add a little spice, and occasional drama, to my life. I can't imagine not having each of them in my life. They have also given me more babies to love. And I love to love them! I am so glad we all stayed local.

I am thankful to have a job. ESPECIALLY one that is SO flexible. My children are my number one and I am able to be there when I need to be. My children don't miss me because I still take them to school and pick them up. I would of course rather be at the school all day volunteering, but in todays economy it just ain't happening!

I am thankful for my friends. I am a busy mother and I don't really have a lot of "me" time, but I know that I can occasionally call on some wonderful ladies and get together for a breakfast or dinner, and talk about our children of course!

I am thankful for the staff at my children's schools. My children have some of the very best teachers and I love getting to know them and being involved with my children's schooling. I didn't home school because I wanted a trained professional teaching them, but I do want to be involved. Their schools make that really easy and I know they care about my children.

I am thankful for my mother-in-law. She raised the most awesome son and I could never thank her enough for letting me have him. We are neighbors and she's always there for us. Be it a spur of the moment sitter while I run to get milk, or an early morning call for some coffee creamer. She really is an awesome lady that can do anything, and I mean ANYTHING! In one day she can build a rabbit hutch, work on a quilt, and make a family dinner!

I am thankful for so many other things, but those are at the top of my list. Maybe I'll do some elaborating on future posts.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

My Last First Field Trip

My youngest, my BABY, had his first field trip today! I know I'm going to have a lifetime of "firsts", but with him it's always so bittersweet because it's the last first. When he learned to walk, it was the last time one of MY children would take their first steps. When he started school this year, it was the last very first day of school I would experience with MY children. I understand now that there is so much more to "the baby" then just birth order.

I'm not sure when I realized it, but one day I just did. I realized that it seemed like everything he did was SO cute, even when he was NOT being cute. I realized that I babied him more. I KNEW that he was it. He was my last one. I KNEW that once he wasn't a baby anymore, that was it! I don't think parents can help themselves. I think it happens without us knowing it. One day it just hit me that he was a little fibber, and blamed stuff at the drop of a hat on his siblings, and could turn on the tears like a switch, and he played me like a fiddle!

I must admit that once I realized it things started to change. I know now that half of what comes out of his mouth is not true and I investigate more. I know now that just because he's crying doesn't mean someone else had something to do with it. Of course while I'm admitting things I should say that he still plays me like a fiddle and he really is so darn cute! I just can't help it!! He's my BABY!

In most cases I would guess that your youngest is the last to leave the nest. The last one who NEEDS mommy. The last one that squeaks. My husband always says, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease". I don't have any children that have left the nest, but I imagine that when there is just one left, I may allow him to squeak a little longer. More than likely it'll be "the baby".

As one of the oldest children in my family, I know that his siblings will notice that "the baby" gets treated just a little different. But as a parent, I know that I just can't help it.

We had a wonderful last first field trip. It was his first time to ride a bus. I think that might have been his favorite part!

Monday, November 22, 2010

An Introduction

Hi, I'm Winter. Welcome to my world. MY beautiful mess. Here's a little bit about me...

I am a wife, daughter, employee, sister, aunt, and many other things, but most importantly I'm a MOMMY. For as far back as I can remember that's what I wanted to be when I grew up. I've been a married mom, single mom, full time working mom, part time working mom, full time stay at home mom, mom to 1, then 2, then 3, and now a FINAL 4 wonderful kids! My kids are all school aged now and I work PT while they're at school.

I am married to the most wonderful husband, and father. He is 1 in a billion. His children are ALWAYS his priority and he spoils me! I am a lucky, lucky girl.

I have a large family. I am 2nd oldest. I have 5 sisters and a brother. I consider myself somewhat of a mommy hen when it comes to my siblings and my nieces and nephews are included in "my babies". I sometimes say I have 4+ kids, cause there's almost always extras around. Just the way I like it!

I love to be domestic and crafty. I like to sew even tho a curtain is pushing my skill. I think making a piece of clothing I could actually wear just might make my bucket list. I LOVE to bake, it's a great stress reliever for me. I like to grow my own food and canning is just too much fun.

My husband and I live on what I lovingly refer to as a "family compound". We're basically surrounded by his family, and that's just fine with me...on most days. We live in a home that was built with our own hands, and a few hands of friends and family. It's grown as our family has and is basically permanently under construction.

I'm PRO public school and try to be as involved as I can be in my children's schools. I'm the Box Tops lady at the elementary. What's better than free money for your school? I'm also the volunteer coordinator. Kids LOVE to have their parents at the school. Well, at least until they're teenagers.

So that's a little about me. I have no idea why I've decided to do this. It's not like I need something to fill my time. I think it's gonna be fun tho!