Pocket Books

I have these little books I call pocket books. They're about being a mommy. They're by Harry Harrison, Jr. He has a lot of books and I wish I had them all. My favorite one so far is 1001 Things it Means to be a Mommy. I love to share little excerpts from them. Tonight I'm sharing from Mother to Daughter, Shared Wisdom from the Heart. Hope Mr. Harrison doesn't mind. Here are a few of my favorites from the book.

Okay, so the books start with 5 keys. I usually don't share these, but I'm going to this time. As I read this book, not only am I thinking of my relationship with my own daughter, I'm reminded of my relationship with my mother. A mother to 5 daughters! I may add some personal notes.

1.Be her mother, not her best friend.
2.Let her live her own dreams. Don't try to make her live yours.
3.Be a strong, confident woman.
4.Be a good wife. You are shaping her future relationships with men.
5.Be aware that your goal is not to be the center of her life forever, but to work your self out of a job.

Get ready for the most intimate, explosive, loving relationship you'll ever had. Except for the one you had with your mom. (AMEN!)

Accept the fact that she is Daddy's little girl. She knows this in the cradle already. (My daughter blinks her eyelashes at her Daddy to get what she wants.)

Keep in mind that all she wants to be doing - for the greatest part of her young life - is to be doing what you're doing.

Know the names of her dolls and stuffed animals. (And which ones she needs on her bed at bedtime.)

Be prepared. Little girls' emotions surprise even their mothers. (Amen!)

Agree to let her brush and style your hair. And Dad's hair. This will pass in a couple of years. (And let her paint your nails. It will really make her day if you wear like that all day)

Remember, the traditions you establish now will be passed on to her daughter.

Watch while she talks to her dolls. You'll learn how you're talking to her. (And how she sees you talk to other people!)

Check little brothers and pets regularly for glued on sequins, stars, glitter, or lipstick. (This one made me giggle. My youngest son has definitely worn his fair share of makeup thanks to his sister.)

Crank up the stereo and show her how to boogie!

Don't think doing everything right will eliminate confrontations, tears, accusations, and emotional outbursts. In fact, these often mean you are doing everything right.

Go on a picnic together, just the two of you, even if it's just in the back yard. (I LOVE my one on one with my girl)

Take her to work with you every once in a while so she can see what you do. (During the summer I take my kids to work with me one at a time. They get excited about their day with Mommy)

Keep in mind that she's always watching you. How you care for your family. How you worship. How you handle life. (Mine is laying in bed with me watching me right now.  :)

When she's about 7 years old she'll start noticing what people have. Teach her to pay more attention to what people are. (Oh, that's a good one!)

Take her shopping for pretty, special occasion outfits. Resist the urge for matching dresses! (LOL, my girl won't have this!)

Encourage her to spend time with her Grandmother. For some strange reason they'll get along just fine.

Understand that with girls, independence usually starts with hair. Ask yourself how important it is really, if it's blue. (Just letting my 6 year old do her own ponytail and not "fixing" it is difficult enough. Blue hair?!)

Make sure she and Dad spend time together. They need each other.

Remember if a TV and computer are not in her bedroom she'll find it easier to study, and sleep. (I think this goes for ALL kids!)

There are advantages to playing chauffeur. Teenage girls talk nonstop in the backseat. About everything.

Keep hugging her!!!!

Insist she take part in family traditions. Happily!

When your clothes start disappearing you'll be pleasantly surprised that they were cool enough to be borrowed.

Make your house the hang out house. (This has always been my goal! I'm currently failing miserably with my 14 year old son.  :(

Teach her that no man is worth betraying another woman. (AMEN!)

Teach her how expect to be treated by a man. So she'll know when she's not being treated well and refuse to tolerate it.

Encourage her to invite he boyfriends over for dinner.

When a boy breaks her heart, curiously, you'll find yours in pieces too.

Don't confuse your dreams with hers. Maybe she doesn't want to be a cheerleader.

It's perfectly normal to lie awake at 1am after she decides not to try out for the high school drill team despite ten years of private dance lessons and wonder, "What did we pay for?" You kept her active, graceful, and in good health.

Teach her to shop the sales. (oh yeah!)

If she says all her friends are carrying a $450 purse and she wants one too,s mile, hug her, and hand her the want ads.

Teach her to find 10 blessings a day. 20 on bad days.

Let her see you give of yourself unselfishly. Not just your money, but your time, your patience, and your love. (Me REALLY likey this one! SO SO true. Children learn by what you do, not by what you say!)

Teach her NEVER to get in a car with a drunk boy or girl. She can always call you to come pick her up. No questions asked!

Teach her to change a tire, use a drill, to mow the lawn. She should never have to depend on some guy to do it for her.

Those problems she's telling you about. The best way to help her is to just listen.

Recognize that for all the pulling away and moods and arguments and words, there will be times when she wants nothing more than to talk to her mother. (This still holds true. Even Mommies need their Mommies.)

Oh I so enjoyed that read. I got lost in it a few times and forgot to share. Guess you'll just have to read it yourself.
My mom came into my life when I was a little older. I was being raised by a single dad of 3 until my parents married when I was 14. That's a tough age for mothers and daughters. I am now a 30something mother and my Mommy is one of my very best friends. I love that we can relate to each other as adults, wives, mothers, daughters. She's a shoulder for me when I need it. The voice of reason when I need it. When appropriate she will side with me, stay out of it, tell me I'm wrong, or tell me to put my big girl panties on! I so hope I can have  such a great relationship with my daughter when she's grown.