Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Warning...this might be a rant. (I will try not to use grown up words.)

Okay, so I've not blogged in a LONG time! Almost a year actually! Just no time for it! BUT, since I'm supposed to sit in bed over the next couple of days and not do anything...why not!

Why am I bed bound, or at least tempting to be, over the next couple of days you ask? Well, I hurt my neck.
How? That's not important, what's important is that if f-ing hurts and is hijacking my life! For a MONTH now!!

I've tried a few things including steroids and acupuncture. NOTHING! NO RELIEF!

Over the last few days I've gotten SO sick. Unable to hold stuff down, constantly in pain, no sleep, just MISERABLE! I was supposed to start physical therapy today. On my way to work I had to pull over and get sick, became basically hysterical, and came home.

I try not to cry. I try to suck it up and only be a big baby for my hubby. But today I found myself sobbing uncontrollably. My 16 year old hadn't left for school yet and it pains me to know he saw me that way and that I might have been a cause for concern or distraction for him today.

So I call my doc and they send me to the emergency room. I spend a few hours at the emergency room and they tell me to go see my doc! AAAAHHHHHH!!!! WTF! Seriously?!?!

I basically cried and pleaded with them. I told them over and over how miserable I was and how much pain I was in and that MY DOC SENT ME HERE!! "Well, it's not life threatening so we can't help you."

SO her I am. In bed. In pain. Waiting on my wonderful hubby to come back with some Aleve. Maybe that will be my miracle drug. I've been told to stay in bed and do nothing for a few days and then go see my doc if it's not better.

Have I mentioned I'm MISERABLE?!?! I can't stop crying. I can't stop hurting. I can't stop worrying about my kids seeing me this way.

I'm REALLY going to try and do NOTHING and get better. This is SO a challenge for me!

I have 5 children that NEED me. Who will clean the house. Who will make sure they are eating well and doing homework and bathing and brushing. Who will answer PTO emails and post on the FB page and find that last homeroom parent we need? I need to send a PTO email out. We have a carnival coming up that I've been unable to get a coordinator for. (this is the ranting part btw)

My PTO stuff is on the other side of the room and I'm committing (going to try) to let it just sit there. Brody should be doing his homework, but I'm going to let his daddy worry about that. I might have already cleaned the litter box out and maybe done a load of clothes (cause there are no towels) but I'm not going to do either of those things again ALL WEEK (maybe).

And work. Yes, I have an actual job I'm supposed to go to. THANK GOODNESS for my employer who I'm pretty sure isn't going to fire me but I will for sure worry about none the less because of all the work I've missed. I know that others have to pick up my slack when I'm not there and I know they have there own stuff to do. I really really hate it!

Speaking of PTO and volunteering and being involved with your children's education, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!  I am fortunate to have a great team on my board(this is my 2nd year as Pres.) and a SMALL handful of AWESOME volunteers, but it's like frickin pulling teeth!! We still have an ENTIRE class that no one will be homeroom coordinator for (also known as homeroom mother, etc.)! I just don't understand! There are plenty of ways you can help without actually being up at the school during school hours. All that stuff that goes on at school doesn't just magically happen. I'm so tired of all the excuses. I can say all of those same things!

Ugh, I'm sure it's just the pain taking!!

I really thought this would help. Maybe it's just me putting in writing that I'm not cleaning or PTOing or nothing until my neck is better!! There!

I actually find myself more upset that my hubby has been gone an hour to get some frickin Aleve!

Some chickin and dumplins would be nice....

No visitors at my house this week would be nice too. I'm not sure if my anxiety can handle it. I've been unable to hold my meds down for two days so my anxiety is CRAZY right now. Another reason my pain may be so bad so says the very unhelpful er doc.

Okay, I'm done I guess. I'm going to post this. Even share it on FB. Yes I may be loosing it.

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